Parents Dating

There are a variety of reasons why someone can be a single parent.  Sometimes, it may be by choice, by necessity (such as in the case of an abusive relationship), by your previous partner’s choice, or due to the untimely loss of your beloved spouse.  Whatever the case is, you have found yourself in the situation of single parenting.  In what follows, you will find some tips for single parents dating:

• Take the pressure off yourself – Do not feel like you are dating to find a life partner.  Although that might very well happen, you are more likely to find success with dating if you can enjoy yourself and enjoy the process.  See it as a journey, not a destination.
• Quit feeling guilty – Oftentimes, we put ourselves last.  Putting yourself last is more likely to happen if you feel guilty.  Perhaps you feel guilty that your children do not live in a two-parent household, and you feel like you have to fill the role of both parents.  Or maybe you feel guilty that you are having to work so much just to put a roof over your children’s heads.  If you live with guilt, you can never truly be happy.  It is best to draw a line in the sand, and move forwards from here.
• Learn from your previous relationships – Think about what you liked about your previous relationships, and what you did not like.  Decide on what you will not put up with in a new friendship or relationship that you develop.
• Change your mindset – Don’t think about it as “dating.”  Instead, just focus on meeting new people and mingling.  Through this mingling, you are likely to find someone who you are interested in dating.  Again, this takes the pressure off of you and people that you are meeting.  Often the best relationships are those developed out of a friendship first.
• Go slow – I know that I’m going to sound like a parent in saying this and it is not meant to bring offence, but go slowly.  This means being careful not to jump into a sexual relationship with a new person too soon.  This may sound like common sense, but I have seen a close friend of mine do this over and over again.   This is especially true when you have children, and you need to be extra careful of sexually transmitted illnesses that exist.  The last thing you would want to do is contract something that leaves your children parentless in years to come.

Watch for more single parents dating tips on this blog….See you soon.