Parents Dating

I used to listen to Dr. Laura on her radio talk show, and she was very adamant that parents should not be dating.  This was at a time when I was newly married, and had no children of my own.  So at that time, I never questioned this advice.  It seemed to make sense that parents dating would only take away time and attention from their children, and confuse their childrens’ lives even more.

At that time, most of my friends were newly married with no children as well.  But over the last 14-15 years, things have changed big time in the lives of many of my friends.  I had one girlfriend with a child become an unexpected widow at the age of 25.  I also have had numerous other friends with children who became separated or divorced for various reasons.

In speaking with them, one thing that becomes very obvious is that it is very lonely and challenging to be a single parent.  Of course, the severity of this can depend on the ages and stages of your children too.  I know that when my children were babies, having my husband gone for a day was hard enough.  So why do we expect that parents who are single, by choice or not by choice, are expected to do it alone?

Although my husband and I are together, it is a discussion that we have had many times.  What if something was to happen to one of us?  Should the other be expected never to date again until the children are of legal age and moved out of the house?  Our conclusion – no, that would be crazy. We would both miss the adult company and intimacy that comes with being in a close relationship with someone.  Furthermore, just having another set of hands to help out with raising the children is of utmost importance.

Parents dating can be a good thing if you do it in a fashion that does not harm your child’s physical and emotional well-being.  Even if your children are grown up and you are about ready to begin dating again, there are ways to go about it that results in everyone winning.

I hope that you enjoyed this blog post.  Throughout, you will find many of my own personal thoughts as well as professional advice and tips on parents dating to make the transition much more smoother for your children (no matter how old they are) and for yourself.  Until next time…..

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