Parents Dating

The day will come when you are ready to introduce someone you have been dating to your children.  Here are some tips on parent dating and how to make the introductions go as smoothly as possible for all:

• This may go without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway.  Do NOT introduce your children to every date you have.  This can be very confusing for your children, and runs the risk that they will become attached to someone who ends up not being a good match for you.  This can create a loss all over again for them.
• Make sure that the person you introduce to your children is someone that you are planning to enter into a longer-term relationship with.  In other words, it is a serious relationship.
• Children (no matter how old they are – I will talk more about this in a different post) do not want to hear you speak about marriage.  This can be frightening for them as they may fear that the new person you are dating is going to replace their mother or father.  You will have to reassure them that this is not the case, and that the reason you are dating is because you need a friend too.
• Call the person you are dating your friend.  It can be less threatening than boyfriend or girlfriend, especially for younger children.
• Prepare your children ahead of time.  To get them to relate to why you are dating, you may want to ask them how they would feel if they had no one to speak to at school all day.  Would they be lonely?  Well, that’s why you have found this new friend.  You need someone to speak to and have fun with too.  However, you will want to reassure them that you dating is not going to take more time away from them, and you need to follow through with this.
• Prepare the person that you are dating about who your children are and what their interests are.  It is best that your date gives the children time to warm up to him/her slowly rather than expecting the children to open up quickly.
• For the first meeting, you may want to plan something fun that you can all do together.
• You will also have to prepare your children that you will sometimes not be doing things all together, as you and your date will want to go places by yourselves.  Your children should adjust fine to this, as long as the amount of time and attention you give to your children does not change in favor of spending time with the person you are dating.

Parent dating eventually involves introducing the person you are dating to your children.  The above tips will help make this go more smoothly.

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