Parents Dating

After a divorce, there comes a time when you may want to begin dating again.  Some good dating advice follows.  Whether you are a divorced mother or a divorced father, you will find this information useful as you get back into the dating arena of life.

• Think about why you have decided to date again - Is is that you miss adult conversations or someone close to you that you can share things about your day, your fears, and so on?  Or is it because you want to show your ex what he/she is missing by not being with you, or is is that you feel like you need to prove to yourself that you are worthy of someone else’s love?  Be very careful as you want to be dating for the right reasons. You don’t want to carry a lot of anger and pain into a new relationship that you are starting.  If you do not go into it for the right reasons, then you’re only going to cause yourself and the person you are dating further pain.
• Do not introduce your children to all of your dates - As has been discussed in other posts for single parents in general, it is not good for your children to be introduced to someone you have just begun dating.  This is not good for their emotional health, plus it could be a physical safety risk for your children.  Wait until you are in a committed relationship that appears to be long-term, and you know more about the person you are dating before your children become part of the picture.
• Do not kiss and be affectionate in front of your children – I can tell you two stories here.  One divorced mom I know found out that her three-year-old son had observed her ex and his new girlfriend necking in front of her child.  Children don’t need to see this.  But beware that even a simple, little peck can be upsetting for children, even teenagers.  My sister-in-law, whose parents have been divorced for 13 years, still wishes in her heart that her parents would get back together (even though her mind knows that this will never happen).  She accepts that they have moved on with their lives, and both parents are in committed, long-term relationships, but there is still the little child in her wishing that her parents were still together.  As a result, even as an adult now, she does not enjoy seeing too much affection going on when she is present.

Read further posts under the Category of “Information for Parents Dating” for further tips that apply to all parents dating.

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