Parents Dating

When dating with children as a widow, there are some things that you want to think about.  This will make it easier for both you and your children as you transition into this stage.

There is another great post on this topic that you may want to read as well.  You can read it here.

Here are more things to think about when dating with children as a widow:

• Do not expose your children to every new date – It is unwise to allow your children to meet the people you will be dating for several reasons.  First, it could be difficult if they develop a bond with someone that you do not want to form a long-term relationship with.  In addition, you need to keep your children safe.  If you have just met someone that you do not know much about, this is just good common sense.
• Allow your children to express their feelings - Recognize that your children will have felt the loss as well.  Of course, the extent of their understanding will depend on their ages when your spouse died.  Your children may not be very excited that you have decided to start dating again, and may not be very supportive.  They may feel like you are trying to replace the parent who died.  It may help to keep the dating more discreet until you find yourself in a relationship that becomes serious.
• Be ready to acknowledge your own feelings – You may have conflicting feelings when starting to date.  Perhaps, you still feel allegiance and have lots of old feelings for your late spouse, and dating brings some of them back.  Just be careful that you are not jeopardizing your dating by comparing them to your previous spouse.
• Know why you are dating – If you are dating with the intention of finding someone who can replace the sense of loss in your life or to help out with raising the children, you may not be dating for the right reasons.  And you will want to ensure that you are not portraying this to your dates either.