Parents Dating

Dating after divorce can bring up an assortment of emotions.  You may have thought that when you got married, that you would never have to date again.   However, now that that marriage has ended, you are likely feeling very anxious to be back in the dating scene.

You may be wondering where you will meet someone, what you say, and so much more.  Plus not to mention the baggage that you will bring (let’s face it – we all have baggage of some sort whether we’re divorced or not) with you after a marriage that ended in divorce.  You may be wiser, more careful, perhaps more suspicious or less trusting.  And don’t forget the children – how will they fit into the whole scenario?

Here are some tips on dating after divorce:

• First, do not feel like you have to date.  Do not let the pressure of friends and family and even your own thoughts, make you feel like it is necessary to start dating.  If the divorce is recent, it is often best to get to know yourself again.  Once you do decide to start dating again, do it slowly and use your past experiences to guide you.
• Reflect on your prior experiences of dating, as well as why the marriage ended.  Don’t focus on the negatives.   Do not feel like a failure and dwell on it.  Instead, take the negatives and turn them into positives.  Learn from your prior relationship(s) and move on.
• Related to the last point, think about what kinds of qualities you are looking for in a date, and what kinds of qualities you will not put up with.
• Do not introduce your child(ren) to your dates for quite some time when dating after divorce.  No matter how old or mature your child is, this can be a very difficult thing for children to have to deal with.  Further posts will discuss this in more detail, and how to involve your children in the dating process.

Watch for further posts that will provide you with tips on dating as a single parent.